Our marching orders come straight from scripture. “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy” (1 Peter 4:12-13, NKJV).
Maybe you can’t understand why things blew up in your face when God seemed to be leading all along. In doubt, you consider how Judas was called by the Lord; he was destined to be a man of God. He was handpicked by the Savior and was used of God. The difference is that Judas aborted God’s plan and broke the heart of Jesus! What started out as a plan of God ended in disaster because Judas chose to go his own way. Lay off all your guilt trips. Stop condemning yourself.
Perhaps your heart asks, “Why did God allow me to get into this in the first place if he knew it would never work out right?” Most likely you did what you had to do. You moved in the will of God, honestly following your heart, willing to give of yourself. Love was your motivation. You did not abort the will of God; someone else did. If that were not true, you would not be the one who is hurting so. You are hurt because you tried to be honest.
Stop trying to figure out what you did wrong. It is what you are thinking right now that really counts with God. You did not make a mistake; more than likely, you simply gave too much. Like Paul, you have to say, “I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved” (2 Corinthians 12:15).